A take on some of the things I’ve read over the past few days:
Coke employees busted for trying to sell formula to Pepsi – okay, seriously, is this still an issue? Doesn’t Pepsi have the science available to reverse engineer Coke? And why would Coke be so overly concerned? Who would buy Coke made by Pepsi?
- Concrete-filled soccer balls – some jokers are going around placing concrete filled soccer balls in public areas with signs that induce people to kick the balls. Okay, it’s a dumb prank and probably causes injury, but aren’t we glad the balls weren’t dynamite-filled soccer balls? Admittedly this is a bigger issue in Germany. Can you imagine concrete-filled NASCARs in the South with signs that say “Drive Me”?
- Mentos and Diet Coke fountain – This was fun the first time I saw it, but the last 38 times, it’s just been messy. I wish I had the disposable income to go buy about 30 bottles of Diet Coke and a rack of Mentos to explode in my backyard.
- Landfill boss drinks garbage juice – So, this guy, who’s either crazy with a death wish or incredibly confident in his product, drinks leachate from the landfill to prove that it is environmentally safe. Goes on to say he stays away from water because “you know what fish do in it”. DUDE, do you have any idea what kind of garbage people throw away. It’s a lot worse than fish piss.
- Shuttle heat shield appears intact – Um, isn’t that what we said about the last one? “Looks okay guys, come on back to Earth.” This shuttle should never have gone up. There was a crack in the foam before it even went up. And if these “bird droppings” turn out to be more significant…well, our space program is done.
- Boston drops third straight to Devil Rays – Didn’t these guys just reel off about 12 straight wins…and they can’t beat the Devil Rays? Carl Crawford stole home off our latest acquisition last night. STOLE HOME! The last person I knew who did a straight steal of home was that kid in Sandlot and before that it was Jackie Robinson. It just doesn’t happen that often. Sonofa…I swear. We can go 3 games up on the Yankees, but we can’t beat the Devil Rays. Pathetic.
My goal for July as mentioned in the last post has been postponed. It may happen, but it’s not a guarantee.
All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind.
See you in the funny papers!