People all over the world…

join hands! Because that’s the only way it will be warm today. A beautiful day in the Bluegrass with a 5 degree reading on the ol’ weather dipstick and a -10 degree windchill. And yet, I’m still the moron who decided to ride his bike today. I’veFrozen biker come to the conclusion that wool gabardine and Italian leather is not all-weather gear and that even though I figured out how to wrap my head to keep it warm today, the frostbite on my forehead may be permanent. Okay, so it’s not real frostbite, but it sure felt like it when the tear coming from my right eye froze to my eyelash. This is the price I pay for principle. Even my bike still looks like it came out of the freezer case at Kroger. But enough about me…I’ll thaw out in a minute.

How about those Colts?! I only started watching after Prince took us in the Wayback Machine during the halftime show. I thought it was great. My mom thought he looked like Aunt Jemima in his handkerchief. She cracks me up. The family played Scrabble during the first half which provided for hours of hilarity. In honor of our gaming activities, I offer this quatrain

I grabbed my tiles from the lot

But ne’er a word could I create

Still, a better word than “pa” was sought

As the Q, the Z, and 4 O’s sealed my fate.

I realize that only about 4 other people in the world will understand what I’m talking about, but believe me, the sheer force of laughter at the word “pa” on a triple-word score can not be underestimated. Naturally, I won at Scrabble, because I’m brilliant. I did not, however, fare as well at Farkel during the second half. So now, I can issue my own MVP awards for the evening:

  • Most Valuable Humor Source: My godmother, who by now, is probably in stitches remembering the evening’s events.
  • Most Valuable Homework Assistant: My dad who, simply by turning the paper sideways, enabled me to see what I was doing wrong.
  • Most Valuable Nutrition Consultant: My mother, who makes the best food and then sends the leftovers home with me.

See you in the funny papers!

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3 thoughts on “People all over the world…

  1. I’m with you on the cold. However, there are not the twelve inches of snow I want outside, yet.

    We played Super Bowl Bingo during the game. Spaces on ye old Bingo card read things like:

    Blond-haired cheerleader
    Talking pet commercial
    Triple-butt smack

    Highly fun game, I tell you!

  2. Seriously. If it’s going to snow, it better bring it. The “two to four inches” we were supposed to get turned out to be millimeters. Bastard people!

    Super Bowl Bingo huh? Sounds interesting. Maybe I’ll have to develop something like that.

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