Unfortunately, gone are the days when my friends and I could spend carefree hours (days, even!) wandering St. Charles in search of cheap plastic beads, aluminum coins, gallons of beer, and naked breasts! We all have real jobs and real lives and we couldn’t possibly be bothered to drive all night to New Orleans, stay in a rickety shack in the Lower Ninth, spend all day/night in the Quarter, and speed home avoiding the Tennessee State Troopers. Those were the days.
Some brief moments from those days gone by:
- Our first introduction to Mardi Gras was a young man who had soiled himself and was stumbling down the middle of the street barely upright…when suddenly he face-planted in the asphalt. Fortunately for him, he was able to right himself before the police were alerted. Where were this young man’s friends? I forgot to mention…this was 10 a.m.
- We sat down to dinner one evening and John disappeared. Moments later, he came bursting back through the restaurant to let us know that there was a girl outside showing her tits. Little did we know at that moment that this particular occurrence would become almost mundane over the next 4 days.
- Kristen got tagged in the forehead with a clay medallion from the Bacchus parade. Some guy tried to steal it from her, but she quickly corrected him saying, “NO! If you get hit in the forehead with it, it’s yours to keep!”
- I forgot how many of my memories involved John…here’s another one. John, obviously drunk from one too many Hurricanes at Pat O’Brien’s, said audibly to the rest of the van in a slurred voice, “This is good turkey.” Everyone heard it.
- I flashed Julee for some beads one night as we were walking throught the gay section of Mardi Gras. I still have those beads.
- Quick memories: Stephen snoring, John’s “telephone polish”, the Hooters guy from Canada, What’s a muffuletta — I don’t know, but I’m getting one, $4 for the bathroom, HUGE ASS BEERS!
- One final John memory. We got pulled over by the Tennessee State Trooper for speeding on our way home. John wakes everybody up and has us put our hands in the air (like we just don’t care!) and then after some mild questioning, John proceeded to offer the trooper some of our beads. To his credit, he politely declined and asked us not to speed through his state.
Ah, Mardi Gras…we hardly knew ye. Still, tomorrow begins the long 40 days of Lent wherein I begin my vegetarian sojourn. Wish me luck.
See you in the funny papers!