This article from BBC News is a little old, but interesting nonetheless. It details news items that we were unaware of until last year. I’d like to highlight just a few of them:
- Cloudy apple juice is healthier than clear, containing almost double the antioxidants which protect against heart disease and cancer. Well, I’ve always like cloudy better. It’s more of an apple cider and it just seems better for you. Like you’re getting the best of the apple. But for whatever reason, it seems like it’s easier to get clear apple juice in the store. The cloudy seems to only be available in the fall.
- Antony and Cleopatra were ugly. Well, that’s a little harsh. And isn’t ugly fairly relative? I mean, maybe they were good looking for their time. Or maybe they just had good spa treatments. Maybe that Egyptian sun and surf was a little harder on the skin than previously thought. Wow, who would’ve thought that Cleopatra would soon be a marketing ploy for SPF?
- Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez hosts a daily radio phone-in show. I just can’t see President Bush doing this…unless it was to collect names and phone numbers for future
tortureinterrogation victimsparticipants via warrantless wire tappingapproved methods of data collection. Of course, if you’re Hugo Chavez, you can probably just have hecklers executed immediately. I’m not sure of how the laws work exactly in Venezuela, but I’m of the opinion that our laws are headed in that direction.
- There is mobile phone reception from the summit of Mount Everest. Well, thank goodness. I’d hate to get all the way to the top and not be able to call someone and let them know where I was…like a complete asshole. “Hey, you’ll never guess where I’m calling from…” From now on, my answer to that question will be Mount Everest just to preemptively deflate someone’s ego. Plus, can you imagine the Verizon commercial…”can you hear me now?”
- Anti-Americanism began in Paris in the 18th Century. So they beat us at our own game by about 3 centuries. Interesting. Some might say that they were still keeping it going, but I’ve been to Paris and I don’t believe that’s true.
- King Tut had buck teeth. Wow! Not a good year for the Egyptians.
- The brain can turn down its ability to see in order to listen to complex sounds like music. Okay, this one makes sense. Don’t tell me you’ve never turned down the radio in your car in order to see street signs or house numbers better. It all clicks now, so much so, that it doesn’t sound dumb when you say “Turn that down, I can’t see!”
- A bdelloid rotifer is a pond-dwelling organism that has survived 80 million years without sex. Survived, yes; enjoyed no! But this does at least mean there’s hope for thousands of high school teenagers who were just like me.
- Bees can detect explosives. Yeah, but it’s so hard to keep them on the leash at the airport. Can you imagine the TSA checkpoint at the airport…”Ma’am, please step through the metal detector AND the beehive…SLOWLY ma’am!”
So there you have it. I don’t have a 55Fiction today. I just can’t think of anything snappy. But hopefully, next Friday I’ll be back in short story mode. Enjoy the snow if you’re getting it…I’m at work.
See you in the funny papers!