Due to my preponderance of grace and natural athleticism, I was able to fall down the stairs of my home this morning with the style and pizzazz of Fred Astaire doing his best impression of John Merrick doing the MC Hammer. In addition, the eloquence and verbal wit to which you are so accustomed on this particular blog caused me to utter the singular phrase “Ow!”, mostly to alert my wife that I was still breathing more than any particular pain. I believe that I was able to avoid severe injury for the most part. I have a small rug burn on my left elbow and what feels like a bruise on my hip, but short of that I’m doing okay for sliding most of the way down the steps.
Apparently, as I get older, I’ve become more clumsy. But somehow, I manage to avoid serious complications by the grace of a higher power, or by sheer elasticity. I’m certain that tomorrow will bring a plethora of aches and pains, mostly in my neck, which I believe landed on the the top step, and my back.
Of course, this fall totally negated the soothing effects of the massage that I got last night. The last massage I got was about five years ago on my honeymoon, so I was really hoping this one would carry me to my 20-year high school reunion. Apparently that will not be the case.
See you in the funny papers!