I know that there are roughly infinite number of things that could be cause for my own outrage. A short list would include: hunger, poverty, war, mountaintop removal, global climate change, genocide, etc. However, there are two things that are really creasing my shorts this morning; two things that have angered me beyond rational thought.
- The Red Sox bullpen
Okay, so let me take you through the first one as it occurred. I’m standing at the gas pump this weekend, pumping a ridiculous amount of money into the car. This is not a normal occurrence for me, as I ride my bike a lot of places these days, but there I was because my wife and I were together and we were going a long distance. Anyway, as I’m standing there, pouring my life savings worth of fossil fuel into my vehicle, the lady (and I use that term loosely) at the next pump calmly opens a pack of gum, tossing the top as well as the wrapper around the stick of gum onto the ground. Her companion in the car, also receiving a stick of gum, proceeds to wad up her wrapper and let it fall, slyly yet nonchalantly, down to the ground as well. All of this happened a mere 24 inches from a free standing, well-lit, garishly colored GARBAGE CAN! I could feel the rage welling up within me. With all the problems in the world, you and by you, I mean Kentucky license plate 288-AMK, you couldn’t be bothered to make one lousy step and toss this paper, this miniscule light-weight paper into a trash receptacle? It’s not like you were being asked to move tires or railroad ties!
I was going to make a comment about it, but I’m not a huge fan of confrontation. I avoid it like the plague. Suffice to say, not only was I outraged concerning the litter, I was enraged about my lack of ability to do something about it. Although, it has been my experience that people of this ilk, by which I mean careless scofflaws, tend toward the stupid side anyway and probably would not understand what all the fuss was about.
So, with that out of the way, I can now focus my ire on the bullpen of my beloved Red Sox. SERIOUSLY?! How do you continue to blow leads this way? It’s almost as if you’re trying to rip my heart out piece by piece before the All-Star break. Speaking of All-Stars, I’m happy to see that none of the bullpen save Papelbon, who is not excluded from my wrath made the All-Star team, because currently you guys stink worse than Naples on a July afternoon. It’s outrageous that you have given away this much territory in the AL East, especially to the Tampa Bay Rays…THE RAYS!!! The very team who, in their 10 year history, have NEVER had a winning season. If there ever was a perennial cellar-dweller, it’s TAMPA BAY! But what really gets my goat is to have to split a series with those mama’s boys from the Bronx. I HATE losing to the Yankees! HATE IT! You’d better get your act together for the second half gentlemen, because it will be a cold day in Sarasota if you let TAMPA BAY win this division.
See you in the funny papers!