Wow…what a week!

I’m not even sure where to really start, it’s all sort of overwhelming.

Governor Sanford of SC – You, sir, are a douchebag.  And that’s as nicely as I could put it.  First off, to cheat on your wife…that’s grounds for castration.  I’m sorry, I’m lenient on a lot of things, but that is not one of them.  Adultery is one of the commandments that I take literally.  Also, kudos to your wife for not kowtowing like a typical Republican wet noodle and standing by you while you sob about what an awful thing you’ve done.  I’m surprised she didn’t have her own press conference to talk about what a dick you are for leaving her with your four children, who will most certainly grow up now needing therapy to discuss what a useless father you were.  You should’ve been half a man at least and divorced her if you were so in love with this chica from Argentina.  I’ve really had it up to HERE with Republicans lately.

Michael Jackson – As much as I despise the news coverage of this event, I have to say that Michael was truly an icon; a unique harbinger of cool for my generation.  I didn’t really know much about MJ until the “Thriller” album, which I still own, but that was all I needed…and the memories it conjures could fill pages I’m sure.  First, I loved listening to Vincent Price laugh at the end of “Thriller.” Also, I think that was one of the first videos I saw on MTV.  We didn’t have cable when it first came out, but my grandmother did and I first saw “Thriller” on tv with my cousin D. when I was staying over.  My sister and I were also enthralled with MJ to the point that we desired white gloves; lusted after them even.  My grandmother gave us both an old white glove that she had.  They were too small, they were evening gloves, and they weren’t sequined, but we wore them all the time one summer pretending that we were the “King of Pop” himself.  Remarkably goofy considering we were white kids from the suburbs, but, we thought it was cool.  Then came the “Victory Tour” album, which I had to have.  Again, my grandmother saved my existence by purchasing the record for me after I saw it in the record store.  I remember exactly zero songs from that album, but I remember that Tito looked like somebody’s Hawaiian uncle and Jermaine looked like a girl on the photos on the inside.  I still have that album as well.  I think that same day was when my mother bought me a Bart Simpson shirt which she has never let me live down.  It was the one of him in the Bartman costume saying “Watch It, Dude!” because the “Eat My Shorts, Man!” shirt was surely deemed inappropriate.  Ah…the early 80s, what a wonderful time.  Anyway, Michael you were amazing, even through all the weirdness, you really knew how to put on a show.  And the music…we’ll never forget the music.

I’d love to talk about Ed McMahon and Farrah Fawcett as well, but I didn’t really know them like I did Michael (as if I really knew him!)  I didn’t watch late night television so I think I saw Ed a total a 3 times my whole life, aside from Publisher’s Clearinghouse commercials.  My sister enjoyed the magazine stamps in the envelopes, though.   And, Farrah, I knew guys who had the poster and I only vaguely remember you from your one season of “Charlie’s Angels,” a show I really enjoyed, but rarely saw because it came on after my bedtime.  Still, you energized the libido of a generation of fans and we’ll always be thankful.

See you in the funny papers!

More hell in a handbasket

It seems as though every time I disappear from my blogging duties for a while, the world becomes a little more dim, in every sense of the word.  Dim in its enlightenment, dim in its joy, dim in its desire for human equality.  Last time, I blamed it on you Intertubes, but I know it’s not you.  Honestly, sometimes I feel like we’re the only ones doing the right things, though I know that’s extremely shortsighted.  However, maybe we’re not doing enough.  Still, I’m going to refrain from beating my dead high-horse on this one because my soapbox is crushed from all the standing and I don’t know that anyone can hear me anyway.  But, let’s cover some things that I’ve missed over the past couple…crap, almost 3 weeks.  I didn’t realize I’d been gone that long.

  • North Korea – Has there ever been a more egomaniacal lunatic with paranoid delusions running such a large cult with access to nuclear materiel?  Not that I’m aware of.  So this Kim Jong-Il, who has his country frightened into calling him “Esteemed God” or some such nonsense is prancing around in his mechanic’s jumpsuit trying to scare the rest of the world with his nuclear activity because he thinks the bogeyman is after him.  Why in the world would the United States be trying to subvert his leadership and destroy his regime?  Maybe because he’s a crackpot who is threatening nuclear warfare.  Even so, up to this point, we’ve pretty much left him to his own devices because we’ve been busy elsewhere (Afghanistan, Iraq, etc.), so it’s hard to point a finger at the U.S.  Besides, that sort of colonialization went out of fashion in the 1950s (or 1960s …I mean 80s, dammit, we need need to stop doing that shit!)
  • Iran – I think we, meaning the United States, have enough problems with our own election counts that we have no business meddling in the affairs of other elections in other countries, even if those elections reek of vote-rigging and have set off waves of violence in a country known for its oppressive regimes.  That said, there is something a bit off with a theocratic government and there is a slight odor when the Supreme Leader comes out and says that the President, who is like-minded in his conservative values, bears no fault in the election process because he won by such a large margin.  Yes, of course, it would be impossible to rig 11 million votes.  Well, not entirely impossible…I mean, if you can rig just one vote, how hard can it be to do 10,999,999 more?  My thoughts go out to the thousands of individuals who have taken to the streets to express their desire to live in a free society without the pain and indignity of being considered as mere sheep for the slaughter.
  • Republicans – Speaking of conservative moral values, why is it every month or so, some “upstanding Republican who is fighting for this country’s moral and family values” gets caught with his pants down?  I’m speaking, of course, about Senator Ensign (or Senator Craig or Representative Curtis or Representative Foley or Rev. Haggard…the list goes on and on folks!)  Now, I’m not saying that Democrats are innocent by any stretch of the imagination.  I’m certain that there is more than just a top ten list of Democrat Dirty-Birds.  But what I am certain of is the seeming lack of hypocrisy.  Republicans are always spouting their core values of family and tradition and moral uprightness, when they’re really no better than the gay-loving, baby-killing heathens that we are.  They just tend to go about it in a different, i.e. dark and secretive, manner.
  • Kate and Jon GosselinWho gives a damn? NOBODY! This also goes for Carrie Prejean, former Miss California and Spencer and Heidi, or Speidi, or Dumbasses, whatever they’re calling you these days.  And, probably a thousand other F-list celebrities with WAAAY more than their 15 minutes in the spotlight.  I’m sure that I could wander over to TMZ and make a list, but honestly, who wants that?  I’m ashamed that I even know there is such a thing as TMZ.

Even with all of that, can I tell you that I fear for my daughter’s future in this crazy world, but I know that if I’m capable of instilling in her the power of self-determination and critical thinking that maybe one day, instead of just sitting on the couch on Sunday morning and writing into the ether about the powerlessness to effect change, maybe she’ll be an instrument of change and I can sit around and write about how well the Red Sox are doing and how the Yankees got beat by the lowly Nationals, AGAIN!  And, something else I know for sure, that smile of hers will most certainly be the catalyst for benevolence, because even without teeth, it shines like the twin suns of Tatooine on a hot August day!

See you in the funny papers!


Today would’ve been Melisa Augustson’s birthday.  She would’ve been 32.  She was a bright spot in the universe and we are all less fortunate by not having her in this world.  She was taken from this life way before her time in a most violent way and it was a sad day for all.

We miss you Melisa, but we know you’re in a wonderful place.

For more information on violence against women, please visit

Fear of flying

Let me begin this post by saying I feel the deepest of sympathies with families of the people lost on Air France 447.  I can think of very few things that would be more terrifying than to have someone on the other end of the phone tell me that a person I love has disappeared.  However, one thing I think would have been to be on that flight.  How terrifying must it have been to have flown into a thunderstorm and then plummet several miles into the ocean never to be seen again?  And this is exactly the sort of event that gives me great anxiety whenever we contemplate taking a trip involving flight.

Today, I read this article about the irrationality regarding the fear of flying from Live Science and I have this to say.  While I appreciate the science behind this article and I completely understand the statistical realities of flying versus other types of transportation and even illness, I want to express my sincere thought that this does not make a lick of difference to those of us who fear the reality of events like Air France 447.  It may very well be anticipatory anxiety, but that doesn’t make it any less frightening.

I do not like flight.  I will most likely never like flight and I promise you that no amount of statistical analysis is likely to change my mind regarding this phenomenon.  I’ll take my chances on the highway.

See you in the funny papers!