Dear Dummy

To the driver of the white truck with Kentucky license plate 070-BXG,

Thank you so much for not heeding your stop sign this morning and nearly plowing into my car as I was driving my daughter to daycare.  It certainly afforded me the opportunity to skip my morning coffee as I was certainly awakened by your daring, if idiotic, maneuver.  As well, I also had the chance to test the horn of my vehicle which may or may not have awakened citizens sleeping in their homes.

I suppose that it must have been difficult to see the sign with your windows tinted a shade darker than “black hole.”  Or, possibly, because the vehicle you were driving was roughly the size of Rhode Island, you were unable to see my lowly Toyota as you barreled through the intersection.  I’m guessing that you were attempting to use your momentum to get to your destination rather than actual gas being as it must be pretty expensive to fill up that massive road hog.

In conclusion, do let me apologize for being in your way.  I’m certain that you are a much more important person than I am, which is obvious from the size of your vehicle and your apparent disregard from traffic signs.  I hope that nearly crushing my vehicle this morning didn’t delay you in getting to your very important activities.

See you in the funny papers!

Running Update

Only time for a running update and then gotta get back to the daily grind.  As it is impossible to see the map without zooming in, though you can click on it for a larger view, I’ve just turned off the interstate on the final 35 miles of my journey.  I’m hoping to finish by the first full weekend in November.  This has been a journey of love and heartache and endurance.  It will be good to complete this chapter.

Nearing the Finish!

That’s it for now.  Hope your day is glorious.

See you in the funny papers!

Bazinga.

So…after that last post, I owe you what is known, in the blogging industry Aside: sort of, I don’t know, maybe you’ve never heard of this, but you’re going to now! as a unicorn chaser.  A unicorn chaser is usually a picture of a sparkly rainbow-flavored unicorn that follows something particularly nasty or depressing on the web.  So, in fairness to you, I bring you the following unicorn chasers:

Unicorn ChaserAnd…for those of you who don’t find that the least bit amusing…or maybe even a little more terrifying than the last post, I present to you this gem:

Yes, the rain is back, but somehow, even through my tired eyes on this Friday, life is just a little better.  Nothing has changed really, but sometimes you just have to believe that everything is going to be fine.  I’d also like to congratulate the Angels on staving off the Yankees last night, but how Fuentes managed to save 48 games this season, I’ll never know.  Here’s to a hopeful Angels/Phillies series!

See you in the funny papers!

The legend of FAIL!

I’ve debated whether or not to post this for the following reasons:

  1. Concerned parties will be overly concerned.
  2. Unconcerned parties may become concerned.
  3. Persons whose lives are even worse by comparison will merely scoff at the notions.

Nonetheless…I have decided to post it.

I’ve failed.  Not epically mind you, but I’ve failed.  I work two jobs, six days a week, for money that doesn’t cover the bills.  I have very few friends, regardless of what the tally reads on my Facebook page.  I went to school to get a degree which I was assured would lead to better career advancement and has yielded exactly nothing except for a large diploma which I can’t even afford to frame.  I’m incapable of providing for my family, even though they seem not to notice or worry about it.  I’m not handy in any sort of way short of mowing the grass, which I don’t even do all that often.  I’ve attempted to maintain a running schedule to keep from dying from high blood pressure or some other genetic anomaly and those attempts, at least since early summer, have been meager at best…practically nonexistent.  My life has become so busy I have eliminated all hobbies except for singing and I now fear that this one shining example of something I do well is on the chopping block because I can neither afford the money nor the effort necessary to do it properly.  I wake up at night and think of all the impossible scenarios that give me heartburn and I simply wait for morning to come.

Please…don’t send me money Aside: I mean, unless you’ve got scads of it that you’re just burning to light your Cuban cigars. and try to avoid the pity.  I didn’t write this to get attention, I really just needed to get it out of my head and somewhere else.  I was going to couch it in some corny allegorical context so that it wouldn’t seem like it was me I was talking about, but I couldn’t be bothered to come up with the pretense.  I’m sure that I’ll be fine, after all the sun is shining today.

I’m thankful for many things in life besides all that which gives me ulcers:

  • My wife and baby who mean the world to me and I only want the best for them.
  • My parents and in-laws who have always been supportive of everything I’ve ever done.
  • My home, because I’ve seen the homeless.
  • My meals, because I’ve seen the hungry.
  • My health, because I’ve seen the sick.

I suppose that it’s just one of those depressed days, although, this one seems to have stuck around a bit longer than I care for.  I just wish something, anything, would go right for a change.  Hopefully, we’ll now go back to your regularly scheduled nonsense.

See you in the funny papers!

Running Update

AhA!  I mean…A HA! or Aha! even…a running update when you least expected it.  This is what I’ve got so far:

50 miles to go!

That’s right folks!  A mere 50 miles to go.  Remember, the goal here is December 3, so I only have to run/walk 50 miles, well, 49 miles or so in the next 46 days.  That’s just barely over a mile a day.  It’s been a long time coming, but it’s definitely been worth it.

See you in the funny papers!

A plethora of miscellany

Okay, so I know there’s been no running update…and I’m sorry about that.  Truth is, with the weather and my extreme complacency, there hasn’t been a whole lot of running.  I promise one for next week and even if I have to run 10 or 20 miles on the weekends from now til December 3, I will make this goal.

I saw an ad for the movie Paranormal which said that USA TODAY calls it, and I quote, a movie that “will effectively terrorize even the toughest among you.”  Now, tell me Intertubes…are you not effectively terrorized enough in daily life without resorting to being scared shitless Aside: to use the local vernacular during your entertainment?  What is the desire to be frightened that people find so exciting?  I don’t get it.  I remember watching a made-for-TV film “The Fall of the House of Usher” in 1982.  I didn’t sleep well again until 1984.  Ask my mother.  There are times when I go down to the basement and still look around the corner for Madeline with blood dripping from her eyes.

If you’re not watching Glee, then you’re missing one of the best shows on television.  It has great music, great drama, and a great performance from Jane Lynch who, honestly, makes me squirm with every role she takes on.  She’s great at making you uncomfortable.  Also, cheers to Heather Elizabeth Morris who plays Brittany and is in my opinion one of the better dancers on the show, though her screen time is limited.  If you liked Fame, you’ll love Glee.  If you don’t remember Fame, well…shut up, I’m not old.

The rain has been never-ending here in the Bluegrass State.  We’re probably well over the recommended monthly allowance already.  I base this assumption on the fact that I saw our resident albino squirrel wearing a life vest this morning.  I would’ve sworn that they moved the Ohio River to flow down our street, but satellite photos assure me that this is not the case.  One of these days we’ll dry out, provided it doesn’t just ice over all together soon.  Highs in the mid-40s will do that to you.

Other than that…the baby’s good, C. is good, I haven’t been the best mentally lately, but some of you will question how I can tell the difference Aside: Har de har har har! For pictures of Ivy, click on the Flickr badge to the right. Congratulations to my brother-in-law, J., who was named one of the Top 5 “Hot Now” Artists by The Culture Club in Flagstaff.  And, that’s all the news…

See you in the funny papers!

Running Update

Sorry I didn’t get an update for you last week.  I didn’t get a lot of running in over the last 2 weeks because I’ve been in “allergy-hell” and just breathing was sort of a chore.  The good news is that even in the midst of the allergies, I passed the 500-mile mark and I’m feeling better now, so I’m hoping to make a huge push to the finish now.  I still need to get a little over a mile a day to make the goal, but I don’t see a problem with that.

Passed the 500-mile mark!

I think the best part is that you can actually see Pittsburg on the map now, just a short (70-mile) jaunt to the northwest and I hope to be arriving there soon.  Thanks to the ONE person who voted on the poll for which shirt I should get.  It’s nice to know at least one person still reads this blog.  I know that most of my readers go through Facebook, and probably don’t read far enough to get to the poll…anyway, I may very well go with that gray one.  However…I’m leaving the poll open for one more week and then we’ll see how it goes.

In other news, there are new pictures of the baby down to the right and there may be more new ones posted later today.  You just never know!

See you in the funny papers!