To the driver of the white truck with Kentucky license plate 070-BXG,
Thank you so much for not heeding your stop sign this morning and nearly plowing into my car as I was driving my daughter to daycare. It certainly afforded me the opportunity to skip my morning coffee as I was certainly awakened by your daring, if idiotic, maneuver. As well, I also had the chance to test the horn of my vehicle which may or may not have awakened citizens sleeping in their homes.
I suppose that it must have been difficult to see the sign with your windows tinted a shade darker than “black hole.” Or, possibly, because the vehicle you were driving was roughly the size of Rhode Island, you were unable to see my lowly Toyota as you barreled through the intersection. I’m guessing that you were attempting to use your momentum to get to your destination rather than actual gas being as it must be pretty expensive to fill up that massive road hog.
In conclusion, do let me apologize for being in your way. I’m certain that you are a much more important person than I am, which is obvious from the size of your vehicle and your apparent disregard from traffic signs. I hope that nearly crushing my vehicle this morning didn’t delay you in getting to your very important activities.
See you in the funny papers!