Sooo, Internets, have you been watching the fútbol? Yeah, I thought so. I know you can’t hear me from the incessant vuvuzela. It’s okay, I’ll talk louder. It’s more fun that way anyway. I was hoping that South Africa would do better,but that was a poor showing against Uruguay the other day and I can’t help but think that they’re probably not going to make it out of their group. It’s unfortunate, but that’s the way the Jabulani bounces, y’know?! What’s with me and soccer is the real question…I mean, when did I get obsessed? Who knows?! It could be South Africa, which I have much love for. It could be the spirit of competition, kind of like the Olympics, or it could just be that as it’s the most popular sport on the planet maybe I was missing out on something. Don’t get me wrong, I still love the Red Sox and the fact that they just swept the Diamondbacks…but World Cup is sort of like Tour de France. You get swept up for a month or so, and then you go back to your life. There are worse things you could do with your time.
Other things on my mind lately: BP. Specifically, that massive oil spill that continues to engulf the Gulf and destroy what was left of the coast after the hurricanes a few years back. It’s no secret really that I’m not a big fan of multinational corporations that can’t seem to go about their business without destroying lives, not to mention ecosystems, without a care in the world other than the gilt-lined pockets of their shareholders and CEOs. I’d love to know what sort of private car Tony Hayward is driven to work in every day. Also, rumor has it that Hayward was on the advisory board for Citibank from 2000 to 2003, which would be just about the time that we were gearing up for an ass-kicking in the banking industry. But the real asshole for today’s post is Joe Barton (R-TX) who as the lead suck-up for the oil industry on the House Committee for Energy & Commerce APOLOGIZED TO BP because the White House is making them set up a fund to help those in the Gulf region whose lives and livelihoods have been devastated by this unmitigated catastrophe. He’s since rescinded his apology, but we all know he was just trying to save some bucks, the oil industry being his biggest fan and all.
Somebody please explain Justin Bieber to me. The kid does not sing very well, has a haircut that looks like his mom puts a bowl on his head, and every time he’s interviewed he says something ignorant or rude to his adoring fans. Plus, he’s kind of creepy.Some people will try to blame this on his being Canadian, but that’s just offensive to Canada. I mean…seriously, what is the deal? And, no, I’m not jealous. The last time I had 11-14 year old girls hanging all over me, I was seven (heh!). The last thing I want is a horde of prepubescent girls squealing every time I get out of the car…that my mom is driving. Honestly, he’s like twelve isn’t he?
And, just to wrap up: They should’ve locked up Joran van der Sloot years ago, Tiger played better golf when he was a sex addict, I don’t know what to say about Abby Sunderland except that my parents would cringe when I would drive to church at age 16, and CONGRATULATIONS to Han Solo for tying the knot with Ally McBeal after eight years.
See you in the funny papers!