Man up with a side of cojones

“If the women don’t find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.”  ~ Red Green

I’m not particularly handy.  By which I mean that most of my home improvement projects either include duct tape, WD-40, or the phonebook to find a professional.  Actually, most of my home improvement projects could probably be considered home “unimprovement” projects.  I’m great at demolition, but I lack a certain je ne sais quois when it comes to actually finishing these projects.  So, when I manage to attempt and complete a project that would ordinarily fall in the manly man category, I feel a great sense of accomplishment.  Even more so if said project involves tools of any sort.  That leads me to today’s blog post.

On Monday morning, I put IvyCat in the car to take her to school, turned the key, and literally heard the car gasp.  It was the last of the vent releasing it’s pent up air I suppose, because the car made no sound.  The lights came on a little on the dashboard, but you could hear the sound of the wind outside the vehicle.  It’s eerie simply because you expect the engine to burst into a raucous growl and then you carry on your merry way.  Not this morning.  So, I calmly turned off the engine and, in an affirmation of Einstein’s insanity theory, turned the key again.  Why?!  Because this is the sum extent of my knowledge about cars.  If you turn the key and it doesn’t go, then you have problems.  You call a professional for these problems.  This is why I’m a member of AAA.  Anyway, I had to get IvyCat to school and myself to work, so I called my wife who lovingly turned around and came back to get us.

Throughout the day on Monday, I diagnosed the car issue in my head.  I knew it had gas, so it had to be the battery.  Sure, it could’ve been a thousand other things…most of which would’ve cost a fortune…but I don’t know anything about those other things, so my guess was battery.  So, today, I tested my theory.  I went and bought a battery Aside: GEEZ, those things are expensive.  Didn’t they used to be like $30-40? and set about replacing it.  I got to use my tools and everything.  I literally changed my car battery without a) electrocuting myself, b) killing the car, or c) requiring assistance.  It was an outstanding experience.  Not the least of which because when I finished I sat down in the driver’s seat and turned the key…instant vrooom!  What a feeling!

For the record, I can do/have done 25 things on the list.  Also, I believe he’s right…you really don’t know need to know how to tie a bow tie.  At least, I’ve never needed to do it.  Maybe I just don’t get invited to those parties.

See you in the funny papers!

P.S.  I have more views this month than I have any other month since IvyCat was born back in May ’09.  I guess it helps to write something occasionally.  Glad to have all my readers, say hey when you get an opportunity.

One thought on “Man up with a side of cojones

  1. I have no idea how to go about changing a car battery. I know how to jump start a car, but that’s about my extent of battery knowledge. Oh, and if the engine just clicks when you turn the key, you probably have a bad alternator.

    Way to accomplish a big deal thing!

    Also, I don’t want to jinx it, but you’ve only got six more entries to accomplish another big thing!

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