Standard of Loving

Fifteen years ago, I said ‘I do’ to a wonderful young woman who had the good sense to be scared out of her mind at the prospect of returning that phrase. She was terrified at the prospect of getting married and, in retrospect, I should’ve been a lot more scared than I was (or at least let on) at the time. But, in my heart, I knew it was right. It was not a moment that I ever pictured in my mind’s eye, but as it was happening I knew we were going to do well. Certainly, we had a significant wealth of role-modeling to draw on: between our sets of parents, there is currently 94 years (and counting!) of marital history to help set our course. That is certainly a ‘standard of loving’ that we can all hope to live up to.

Still, not every minute has been perfect (and I think any married person who says that it has been is properly deluded), but we have managed to talk things through with a minimum of screaming. I heard a quote the other day, ‘Marriage is the nicest way of confronting your own inadequacies on a daily basis.’ That pretty much sums up how we interact. I still roll my eyes when she loses something; she still reminds me to pre-drill the holes when doing a home improvement project. We don’t kiss as often as we used to (which we should rectify), but we still dance occasionally (though it is much more difficult to do when our jealous 5yo insists on being between us), and we’ve grown in our ability to manage the complicated and enjoy the leisure moments.

Two houses, two kids, and multiple jobs later, we continue to stand by each other each day and say ‘I do.’ I do love you; I do believe in us. And, when that is not always guaranteed for a variety of reasons to many couples, it is reason to celebrate the milestones of not only 15 years, but every hour of every day. So, to my loving, compassionate, strong-willed, feminist wife, I do adore you, I do give my heart to you, and I’m so unbelievably overwhelmed by this life we share together.