I just don’t even know…

  1. I’m not the perfect parent, I’ll admit that.  I’ll also admit that I’ve only been doing this for 15 months now.  But, if you’re letting your child walk around and disturb (even quietly) other patrons at a restaurant while you sit and chat idly about your day (I assume), then you’re not doing your job.  Make no mistake, it’s a job.  It can be a fun job.  It can be a crazy job.  But, it’s a job that you’re required to do.  So do it.
  2. If you’re a child, I give you a lot of leeway because I can understand that you don’t get normal social attitudes.  I’ll also allow for the fact that you may have some borderline social disorder.  But, if you’re standing less than 3 inches (no joke!) from my arm, staring at either me or my family while we eat, you need to back the hell up!  And, I say this with love, but if you continue to do this throughout life, you’re never going to have any friends.  Oh, and tell your parents (who are using the restaurant as a babysitter) that you need a belt, because when your shorts fall of your bony little body at your age, it’s not cute.  It’s weird.
  3. I agree with my wife.  Sonic, your commercials are so much better than your food.
  4. We’re in the midst of a nasty heat wave.  And, it’s not just us.  It’s the whole country.  I saw the USAToday map the other day and the whole thing was a version of orange.  Dark orange, light orange, orange like the sun…and just as hot.  Even I’ve started to sweat recently which lets me know that the temperature is out of control.  If I’m sweating, it’s hot.
  5. I’m so bummed about the Red Sox.  This year has been devastating in the injury department and I hate it when people make excuses to explain away poor performance, but most of this year they’ve been playing without a full complement of their players.  I don’t mean that the roster has gotten smaller, but the players that they broke spring training with have been missing from most of the games.  And, the loss of Youkilis for the rest of the season really puts a damper on the season.  I haven’t written them off, because even in the midst of all this, they’re still within striking distance in the most difficult division in baseball.  I’m still very proud of them for dealing with the injuries, but it’s going to be a long winter if we don’t make the playoffs.  A good showing against the Yankees this weekend would go a long way to making it feel better.
  6. My wife watches Project Runway.  I sit through it because I think Tim Gunn is cool.  My wife watches So You Think You Can Dance.  I sit through it because occasionally there’s a decent dance and Mary Murphy is no longer screaming on my television.

See you in the funny papers!

Random Thoughts

It’s been forever since I did a Random Thoughts, but I was inspired by my friend N. who does these ramblings occasionally on Facebook…and mine may be slightly more random than hers.

  • If my Red Sox don’t start playing better, I’m gonna have to take up golf or something.
  • I made dinner tonight, Whole Wheat Pasta with Sesame Peanut Sauce.  It was good, and I threw some edamame in there for flair, but the cayenne in the sauce is really burning me at the moment.
  • I drink more coffee than I ever thought I would.
  • I continue to realize how much being a grownup really sucks.
  • I also continue to be amazed at how well my parents provided for my sister and I, and have no idea what they must have given up in their own lives to be able to do so.
  • I would really like for mowing the grass to be a more zen experience than it is.
  • I need to get back to some form of exercise, if someone would just point out the extra hours in the day when that’s possible.
  • Have I mentioned lately how much I love my job?  It just sounds so weird for me to say that out loud.
  • Oh, and my cough is back.  If it continues, I think I’ll have to bite the bullet and go back to the doctor.  It’s not that I don’t like the doctor, I just think my time could be better spent doing other things.
  • IvyCat is sleeping through the night (for all intents and purposes) these days which has made existence a little more bearable.
  • I love that my wife is actively interested enough in baseball to ask pertinent questions.  Or, at least she fakes it good.
  • At various times, I crave root beer and/or grape soda.  This is not a bad thing.
  • I need a vacation.  My current desires are the Pacific Northwest, the Okavango Delta, and the Swiss Alps.  I’m a geography nerd.
  • Sarah Vowell…if you’re reading this, I need you to write a new book.
  • Speaking of books, I really need to get back to reading more.  I have a stack of books that are waiting for me.
  • Getting a haircut tomorrow, thank goodness.  Starting to look a little like Wolverine.
  • Taking the GRE next week.  Wish me luck.  I’m gonna need it.

That’s all for now.  I need to go to bed.  I’ll hopefully write again soon.  Good news, the Red Sox won tonight…a 2-game win streak.  WOOHOO!

See you in the funny papers!

NaBloPoMo 2009 – CLE

NaBloPoMo2009In honor of today being the 10th straight day of posting, I thought I’d phone this one in and give you the following:


1. Run a marathon.
2. Watch the Red Sox play the Yankees in Fenway Park
3. Visit Beethoven’s grave in Vienna
4. Ride in a hot air balloon
5. Learn French
6. Take a flying lesson
7. Visit all 50 states
8. Hike the Appalachian Trail
9. Watch my daughter graduate from college
10. Grow old with my wife

See you in the funny papers


Year 2004, October: Boston defeated the Yankees by overcoming a 3-0 deficit in the ALCS and won their first World Series in 86 years over the St. Louis Cardinals.  I was more excited about Boston beating the Yankees, I think.  But, to see the joy of generations celebrating a Boston championship was absolutely stunning.

Year 1999, December: It was the last day of the millennium and people everywhere were alternately excited and frightened at the prospect of four new digits on the calendar and the impending disaster of the Y2K bug which turned out to be a complete flop.  Also, I think that most people had forgotten about Prince’s song “1999” that we all played to death back in the 80s when 1999 was so far away.  I don’t remember how I spent my evening, but I’m pretty sure I was with friends and we were drinking.

Year 1994, June: I had just completed my worst semester of college ever.  Probably the worst semester of college ANYONE has ever had.  My transcript also shows that I did not go to school in the fall of that year, so it’s safe to assume that in my astounding knowledgeable grasp of the universe, I had decided that a college degree was unnecessary.  And, even though this memory is odd, I also know it was the last time I’d had my mother’s hamburger stroganoff which I miss terribly.  Unfortunately, the day and the meal bring up bad memories.  I hope that one day I can eat it again.

Year 1989, September: My first day of high school, a little fish in a big pond.  I was fortunate enough to have friends in higher grades who I could count on to assist me if necessary.  I also stepped up my lustful longings to include the head cheerleader whose locker was right outside the freshman biology lab.  Thankfully, that didn’t work out!

Year 1984, February: My grandfather, Henry, died today.  I remember, distinctly, every moment of that morning as my mother screamed panic through the phone at my grandmother who had called her and not 911.  I remember her racing past me in the car as I stood in the cold at the bus stop.  I remember asking my teacher permission to go to the office to call home to see if my fear could be confirmed.  And I remember the walk back up the stairs thinking that my sister would certainly be inconsolable, which now that I think about it was fairly grown-up thinking for someone of my age.

Year 1979, August: I started kindergarten today.  I loved my teacher, Mrs. Wilson, who would sing “Swing Low, Sweet Chariot” to us as we took naps on the floor.  I was the only person in kindergarten to have perfect attendance that year.  I still have the trophy which I cherish greatly.  It was probably the last time I really overachieved in school.

Year 1974, December: Okay, so I don’t really remember this, but I was born.  Hank Aaron hit number 715 in April of this year and tornadoes tore through Kentucky and Ohio destroying lots of things…so my appearance in the world was probably not so monumental a thing, but no less important!

See you in the funny papers!

Music for your morning

Good MORNING!  Yes, good morning.  How’s it going?  Did you get enough sleep?  Good, I’m glad.  Have you had your morning beverage, whatever that might be.  Good…good.  Okay, so let’s get to it.  Here in Ye Olde Hometowne we have a magnificent radio station supported by the public.  They call it “public radio”, heavens knows where they get these titles.  Anyway…at little old WFPK they play the best music and it’s the only radio station that C. and I listen to on a regular basis.  That said, our friend, Kyle Meredith has a short program on WFPK called The Daily Feed which promotes the latest and greatest music found on the Intertubes and the other day he had this little gem:

Warm Heart of Africa (Alan Wilkis Remix) by The Very Best

Now, if this particular tune doesn’t have you jamming throughout the day, then you need to reexamine your life and focus on your inner happiness.  Aside: I know, I know…inner happiness coming from me, Mr. Cynical Bastard. Also, I’m listening to these other items which I’m sure can be found at your local iTunes or other purveyor of fine musical gems:

Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked by Cage the Elephant

Sex on Fire by Kings of Leon

Resurrection Mary by Vandaveer

That about does it for today, except to say that I’m man enough to admit that the Red Sox stole the game from the Angels last night with a little help from the blue boys.  Nick Green swung at that ball and then he got another ball on an obvious strike.  The Angels have every right to be upset.  But, let me say this, I don’t really care because my boys in Boston won another one to put themselves up 6.5 games over Texas for the wild card.  It was awesome!

See you in the funny papers!


Balls, I say!  Bollocks, even!

So, what, may you ask has gotten my dander in a lather this morning?  Oh, Intertubes, ya’ll have no idea.  Seriously, it’s just that bad.  But, here’s the thing, I’m about to lay it on you…so grab your cup of joe, or for those of you across the pond, at this hour, I suppose maybe a spot of tea.

Those bastards from New York swept my beloved Red Sox over the weekend.  Yes, I know, it’s not all that difficult to believe since we’ve been batting anemic since the All-Star break and the Yankees went out in the offseason and purchased an entirely new roster practically with which to beat my Beantown brothers.  Still, we had beaten them 8 straight times this season, and suddenly, they lose four straight?  It’s enough to conjure images of 1919.  I mean, our bullpen, though taxed in the 15-inning game on Friday, just fell apart last night and gave up the ghost.  It was a sad, sad day.

To compound the misery, I’m now at work, bathed in my own sweat, wasting a perfectly good shower AND a good shave even though, due to last week’s flooding, this building is still officially closed.  So, here I sit, desperately willing the fan to blow something other than hot air as I breathe in mildew and toxic mold Okay, that might be an exaggeration, but who can say for sure. I realize that this breaks my rule of blogging about work, but I feel this warrants it.  I know that they want us to work, but really, REALLY, this seems a bit unnecessary.  We should be able to stay home until they get the air handlers working again.  On the bright side, I am wearing shorts and a t-shirt.

In other news, C and I had a wonderful date for our anniversary.  We went to see (500) Days of Summer which you definitely need to go out this week and see.  It’s just that good.  The review is available on my movie page.  We also had dinner at the lovely 60 West Bistro and Martini Bar.  I did have a martini, called Chewbacca’s Scream of course! and it was quite good.  Thanks to my parents for watching the bebe while we went out.

See you in the funny papers!

More hell in a handbasket

It seems as though every time I disappear from my blogging duties for a while, the world becomes a little more dim, in every sense of the word.  Dim in its enlightenment, dim in its joy, dim in its desire for human equality.  Last time, I blamed it on you Intertubes, but I know it’s not you.  Honestly, sometimes I feel like we’re the only ones doing the right things, though I know that’s extremely shortsighted.  However, maybe we’re not doing enough.  Still, I’m going to refrain from beating my dead high-horse on this one because my soapbox is crushed from all the standing and I don’t know that anyone can hear me anyway.  But, let’s cover some things that I’ve missed over the past couple…crap, almost 3 weeks.  I didn’t realize I’d been gone that long.

  • North Korea – Has there ever been a more egomaniacal lunatic with paranoid delusions running such a large cult with access to nuclear materiel?  Not that I’m aware of.  So this Kim Jong-Il, who has his country frightened into calling him “Esteemed God” or some such nonsense is prancing around in his mechanic’s jumpsuit trying to scare the rest of the world with his nuclear activity because he thinks the bogeyman is after him.  Why in the world would the United States be trying to subvert his leadership and destroy his regime?  Maybe because he’s a crackpot who is threatening nuclear warfare.  Even so, up to this point, we’ve pretty much left him to his own devices because we’ve been busy elsewhere (Afghanistan, Iraq, etc.), so it’s hard to point a finger at the U.S.  Besides, that sort of colonialization went out of fashion in the 1950s (or 1960s …I mean 80s, dammit, we need need to stop doing that shit!)
  • Iran – I think we, meaning the United States, have enough problems with our own election counts that we have no business meddling in the affairs of other elections in other countries, even if those elections reek of vote-rigging and have set off waves of violence in a country known for its oppressive regimes.  That said, there is something a bit off with a theocratic government and there is a slight odor when the Supreme Leader comes out and says that the President, who is like-minded in his conservative values, bears no fault in the election process because he won by such a large margin.  Yes, of course, it would be impossible to rig 11 million votes.  Well, not entirely impossible…I mean, if you can rig just one vote, how hard can it be to do 10,999,999 more?  My thoughts go out to the thousands of individuals who have taken to the streets to express their desire to live in a free society without the pain and indignity of being considered as mere sheep for the slaughter.
  • Republicans – Speaking of conservative moral values, why is it every month or so, some “upstanding Republican who is fighting for this country’s moral and family values” gets caught with his pants down?  I’m speaking, of course, about Senator Ensign (or Senator Craig or Representative Curtis or Representative Foley or Rev. Haggard…the list goes on and on folks!)  Now, I’m not saying that Democrats are innocent by any stretch of the imagination.  I’m certain that there is more than just a top ten list of Democrat Dirty-Birds.  But what I am certain of is the seeming lack of hypocrisy.  Republicans are always spouting their core values of family and tradition and moral uprightness, when they’re really no better than the gay-loving, baby-killing heathens that we are.  They just tend to go about it in a different, i.e. dark and secretive, manner.
  • Kate and Jon GosselinWho gives a damn? NOBODY! This also goes for Carrie Prejean, former Miss California and Spencer and Heidi, or Speidi, or Dumbasses, whatever they’re calling you these days.  And, probably a thousand other F-list celebrities with WAAAY more than their 15 minutes in the spotlight.  I’m sure that I could wander over to TMZ and make a list, but honestly, who wants that?  I’m ashamed that I even know there is such a thing as TMZ.

Even with all of that, can I tell you that I fear for my daughter’s future in this crazy world, but I know that if I’m capable of instilling in her the power of self-determination and critical thinking that maybe one day, instead of just sitting on the couch on Sunday morning and writing into the ether about the powerlessness to effect change, maybe she’ll be an instrument of change and I can sit around and write about how well the Red Sox are doing and how the Yankees got beat by the lowly Nationals, AGAIN!  And, something else I know for sure, that smile of hers will most certainly be the catalyst for benevolence, because even without teeth, it shines like the twin suns of Tatooine on a hot August day!

See you in the funny papers!


Things I’m currently in love with:

Things I currently despise:

Oh, and due to my current baby-induced vacation, please check out the terrific number of movies I’ve seen lately on the updated (practically daily!) Spoiler-Free Movie Reviews page.  See you in the funny papers!

Whether the weather…

Oh, intertubes, how I do love the Spring!  Sure, I know that, technically, it’s not quite Spring yet, but the fact that we opened the windows last night and the temperatures will hit the mid-70s this weekend is good news for me.  I abhorred the depressing skies and bitter chill of February, but March…even with erratic weather patterns and savage wind conditions possible…March is just a better time of year.  

Speaking of erratic, here are some RANDOM THOUGHTS

  • I’m running the Anthem 5K on Saturday morning as part of the Louisville Triple Crown of Running.  Anticipating a great run with start temps in the mid-50s.  
  • My Boston Red Sox are having a horrible Spring in the win/loss columns, but at least there doesn’t seem to be any controversy.
  • I’m thankful that I still have a job with unemployment reaching 8.1% today.
  • Regardless of what happens in California, Proposition 8 is improper because it denies people, humans, the privilege of marriage.  That’s what it boils down to.  And, the Constitution, the supreme law of the land, gives us that right.  Don’t believe me…check out Amendment 14
  • The baby is coming in 9 weeks, give or take.  Not much time left to guess the name.

That about covers it for now.  A running update will hopefully follow on Monday.  I know it’s been a while.  Check out the movies page for the latest viewings.

See you in the funny papers!


Here’s what I know:

  • President Obama (doesn’t it feel good to say that) has every right to close the detention center at Guantanamo Bay.  It is basically a government-sponsored torture center in a country where we don’t even recognize their government.  The rest of the world views Guantanamo as an offense against human rights and the America that I live in should know better.
  • Natalie Dylan,” or whatever her real name is, has every right to auction off her virginity.  I don’t think it’s a proper thing to do, and I would imagine that she might regret it later…but everyone gets 15 minutes, right?  And if you can get in excess of $3.8 million for your 15 minutes, then who’s to say you shouldn’t.  
  • It is time that the Red Sox sign Jason Varitek.  He’s not the catcher of the future, but he is the catcher for now.  He needs to be at Spring Training in 3 weeks and the Sox need to figure out a way to get him there.  
  • If I were employed in Timothy Geithner’s position, I think I would’ve certainly known when and how to pay my taxes.  I’d love to go years without paying them and then when somebody found out about it, just apologize and say “Hey, look, I didn’t understand, things happen.”  I’m kind of tired of people being able to edge around the law when it suits their purpose, especially if they feel they’ve reached some sort of higher plateau than the rest of us.  This includes celebrities.
  • Of all the nominations for various Academy Awards, I have seen a total of 2 of the films on the list: WALL-E and The Dark Knight.  I think this is a byproduct of a couple of things…first of all, the economy (and my wallet) is such that seeing movies at the theatre is a little too rich for my blood.  Secondly, Netflix delivers thousands of movies to my home and I never have to leave the comfort of my chair Aside:mmm, my chair, it’s such a good chair. So, I couldn’t tell you who should win, because I don’t even know the players.
  • Finally, last night, my daughter kicked me.  She kicked me right in the palm of my hand.  This, naturally, sent me into a fit of laughter because it was the strangest, most surreal event.  Just a little poke right across the crease in my hand…and the whole world seemed different.  I’m going to try to keep most baby stuff off this blog, because that’s not why you’re here, but occasionally I’ll have a daddy story and you’ll just have to suffer through.

See you in the funny papers!